I’m exploring the idea of turning back, intentionally, and going in the wrong direction – at least in appearance.
The impetus for this exploration came from a habit I have of mapping out my itinerary after I complete a trip, usually in the simplest doodle-like way.
My most recent trip to Europe concluded a few days ago, so I “sat with it”, downloaded my photos from my cell phone, organized my bills, dirty laundry, and luggage, and doodled my movements – this time, around France and Spain.
And I realized I had several times gone back on my tracks, turned around in a way, but with a clear awareness that it made sense to me – mostly based on a conscious choice to prefer slow options, aligned with my personal pace and comfort…
Where I would have in the past privileged the most direct route, I chose the most “soothing” one.
And on several occasions, that meant ‘rebrousser chemin’ – meaning turning back and retracing one’s steps, usually because we’ve reached an impasse – literally and figuratively.
In this case though, there was almost always a more direct, quicker way of going from A to B, and the fact that I would have, in the past, shunned this kind of “illogical” going-backwards options, called my attention.
What does it mean? I’m not sure yet. Part of me would like to think it’s proof of wisdom and maturity – in a search of better alignment with my body’s natural rhythm and needs… I’m not sure I can provide evidence that’s what happened, though. So, for now, I’ll sit with the realization of this willingness to “go in the (apparently) wrong direction”. Noticing is enough!!
– Thanks for reading!!