Why Am I Stuck? - Part II

I have a confession.

I’m nervous about posting this follow up to my previous thoughts. I’m not sure
you’ll take it seriously, or whether it is clear enough.

The main reason is that this would normally be the natural progression of a
conversation you’d have a with a very close friend, confidant, or personal coach.

But let’s try anyway… If it helps just one person, it will be worth it (and it
will fulfil one of *my* personal needs).

The first step to getting your personal needs met is quite simply to identify
those that have the most impact on your feeling good about yourself.

It seems obvious but few people seem to consciously reflect on their real needs.
Probably because they intuitively know it is likely to be a rather uncomfortable
experience.

I believe we truly know what is good for ourselves. We just don’t dare to admit it
to ourselves.
So to help get past that, here is the question I suggest you ponder:

Note that what you’re doing in this exercise is not about what you *think* would
be good for you. Not about what you *want*. And not about what *ought to be* good
for you.

But what you *know* deep inside, when you’re being 100% honest, can give you the
best feelings about yourself.

You will want to find a quiet place, pen and paper, and to take about 10 minutes by
yourself, with no risk of being disturbed (switch that cell phone off, will you?).

Ready? Here we are:

In what circumstances do you regularly feel like you probably ought to be happy
yet truly feel like something is not quite right?

Simply think about these situations for a moment…
Now, honest introspection is not easy. It pushes us beyond our comfort zone.
That’s where it really helps to have a coach (or a confidant) to keep pushing us.

There’s going to be a little tennis match in your head between the “Don’t think
like that, it’s so selfish” voice, and the “Yes, this is what is truly good for me”.

Between the “No, I’m not one these people” and the “Yes, this is Me. Nobody’s
perfect. This is part of my unique charm”.

And you know what? That’s okay. That’s perfectly normal. In fact, it’s probably a
good thing.

As you think about these circumstances, you’ll experience various feelings and
will most likely get an insight about what your unfulfilled needs truly are.
Now ask yourself this:

What would I like to feel in these circumstances that would make me feel good
about myself?

Write down what spontaneously comes to mind. Keep the piece of paper on you. It’s
personal. At this stage, there is no need to share your thoughts with anyone.